Sex Before Love
With Valentines blowing in the air, and our celebrating our wedding anniversary, I thought it timely to rethink love. A penis can enter a vagina long before love happens or ever will.
The sense one gets from reading the Scriptures is that the event of sex follows love. Scripturally defined, marriage is a covenant bond between a male and a female, defined not as the world defines love, but according to the Word of God.
It is not an arrangement but a covenant, a lifelong bond between one male and one female. This makes it a divine institution established by God, not by man’s nature. It is one of the two great mysteries. 1. A male and a female becoming one flesh. “One flesh” means a total emotional, physical and spiritual partnership. 2. It is a sacrificial partnership which reflects Christ’s sacrificial partnership with the church.
I like the King James Version of Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”
Saint Augustine made famous the saying that “our heart is restless until it rests in you.”
Marriage between a male and a female represents the soul’s longing for divine fulfillment. That satisfaction is the purpose these roles were ordained by God. Through these roles couples are accountable to God for how they treat each other throughout their entire married life.
It is the same faithfulness in marriage that Christ pledges to a sinner. I well remember the story of Dr. Michael DeBakey (1908–2008), the legendary cardiovascular surgeon known as the “father of modern medicine,” who invented artificial Dacron grafts, developing ventricular assist devices in 1964.
Jimmy Leaders tells the story of shadowing this famous man who showed no emotion—until DeBakey’s wife developed a heart disease he could not heal. Surrounded by his team of experts, DeBakey bent his head over his dead wife and sobbed.
Love happens but it doesn’t always grow. A president of a small Christian college approached a prostitute in a large city only to discover that she was a secret police agent. He was arrested and booked. He lost his job and his reputation.
Donovan Law testifies to the mystery of “Two becoming one,” in an article he wrote. He tells of a group of Christian brothers who were with him in the lobby of the Hospice House where his wife of twenty-four years was spending her last day on earth. These brothers shared comforting words as he shared his feelings and emotions with them. What was becoming real to Donovan Law was the Divine mystery of marriage.
The Apostle Paul’s words “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Ephesians 5:31-32 This mystery is profound, and it was dawning on Donovan Law that it refers to Christ and the church. These verses establish Christian marriage as a sacred, indissoluble union that mirrors the relationship between Jesus and his church. Donavan Law continues, “That day it was clear; that oneness was being dissolved and absolved into a greater union. This felt like the opposite of a father walking the bride down the aisle and giving her away to an eager groom. I was giving her back to God.”
