The Biblical Meaning of Marriage

As a retired psychotherapist I would be inclined to speak of marriage in psychological terms using words and phrases that are supported by research. As a pastor, which I am, I am constrained by the Word of God to speak of marriage in terms of the Word of God. I respect the professions of each.

 My wife and I have been married for seventy-one years. From a Biblical perspective we are fundamentally two sinners saved by grace, nothing more/nothing less.

We are in the season of Lent which emphasizes the work of Christ who died for our sins that death’s grip over us might be defeated once and for all. The story of Satan tempting Jesus in the wilderness and Jesus defeating Satan by quoting the Word of God explains how He triumphed over evil.

I know this sounds like an exorcist story where one holds up a cross to the demon-possessed person and through the supreme power Jesus Christ possesses, the demon is destroyed.

To be married in a Christian church by a Christian pastor does not make anyone immune to the temptations that trouble a marriage.  There is the temptation to see the relationship in terms of one’s own physical needs. Then there is the temptation to see the relationship in terms of the splendor, the joy, the happiness ever after that the two expect from the relationship.  Then there is that certain naiveté–if you jump down, “I’ll catch you” sort of temptation.

Because of the sin in us, a Christian marriage is more than a relationship you strive for with the help of a psychotherapist. Marriage is ordained by God.

He performed the first marriage ceremony when He joined Adam to Eve. He was there when Satan succeeded in causing them to see that the fruit looked physically desirable, that if they ate it they would have the power to know the difference between good and evil, and finally they would be able to identify themselves as God.

God’s love for us, demonstrated in His sacrificing His Son that we might be forgiven of our sins makes the language of the Word of God the language of hope in a marriage.  The two shall become one flesh comes fromGenesis 2:24. The Word of God tells us that He created us male and female. He did this because He believed that “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18  His design and purpose for marriage supersedes our own individuality.

God created us in His likeness. He called us mankind–male and female. When mankind turned away from God, it was His love that drew mankind back to Him. He gave Himself in the    person of His Son so that through that relationship we might become reconciled to Him through His love for us.

It is through this relationship with Christ that God provided a way for mankind to become reconciled to mankind, males to females, and females to males. To that failed original creation of marriage He provides a redeeming love—wherein a male and female can enjoy the intimacy of a loving relationship under His redeeming love so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. That is the redeeming mystery of marital love. This redeeming mystery of this love refers to the spiritual dimension of a committed marriage where a male and a female through their love for each other reflect and participate in the sacrificial, selfless love of Christ for His church.

The “redeeming mystery” of marital love refers to the profound, spiritual dimension of a committed marriage where two individuals, through their love for each other, reflect and participate in the sacrificial, selfless love of Christ for his church. This allows them to exist within the church with a deeper sense of redemption and personal growth. The basis of the mystery is drawn from the Biblical passage in Ephesians 5:21-33.

Truly there is a sanctity in these words. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:6

No marriage can possibly fulfill its purpose as God ordained it to be unless the two become one flesh. Death does not destroy that relationship; it only elevates it to a higher purpose to dwell as saints in heaven with God forever. This is the promise God offers to those who have honored God and entered into a marriage relationship by faith and have lost their partner. Their marriages were not in vain.

Hear these words regarding a marriage relationship God created between a devoted monk and a devoted nun. Luther said of his wife Kate that he would not exchange her for France or Venice to boot. God has given her to me and me to her. I treasure her because she keeps faith and honor in our marriage. Whoever enters into marriage should do so in faith and honor to God.

When the words “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder” was pronounced on your marriage, it was then sanctified and made holy. The fruition of that relationship shall be realized in their greater union with God forever in heaven.  

My mother gave my father a valentine on February 14, 1926 about a month before their wedding that said, “I have no heart to send you-Just why I’d have you know, The only one I ever had I gave you long ago.”

Their marriage was not an easy one and neither has ours been–as is so often the case. My wife and I were married by Dr. Jacob Tanner a New Testament theologian in the Evangelical Lutheran Church. Dr. Tanner had to commit his beloved wife to a mental hospital.  He suffered mental anguish because of this and had to retire from his professorship.  He recovered and returned to teaching Bible at the college we attended and was 89 years old when he married us.

Nevertheless, marriage unions, whatever they must face, face the struggles together when that unions is honored by the Word of God. My I repeat. These unions mirror how Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her as a foretaste of the marriage feast in heaven.

Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns.Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure” for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel saidto me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” Revelation 19:6-9